It's July 1st. How are you doing at the midpoint of 2007? Are you happy? Are things good?
I would have to say that by all the meaningful, objective standards I am happy and things are good...but! if I linger on the question, and settle into it a bit, and really ask myself how am I doing right now, today, on July 1st, I would have to say that I'm a bit out of sorts.
So, what's bugging Chuck B?
Well, for one thing, the situation at my dad's house is bugging me.
My aunts who are trustees of my 92-year-old grandfather's estate, and for all practical purposes his conservators, have decided it would be best if he went to live with my father.
At first blush, everyone agrees this seems fine and reasonable. But the actual implementation has been carried out extremely fast and this has created considerable disruption for my father, and by extension, for me as well.
The situation is complicated--of course--and because it's all happening so fast, I for one do not feel like I've had adequate time to fully consider the pros and cons of this new arrangement and to consider all the options. That bugs me because the cons of this arrangement happen to be considerable, particularly for my father and I'm not clear that he's had adequate time to consider it all either.
It really bugs me that I volunteered my assent to this plan without first taking the time to consider the situation more fully. Believe me when I tell you that with my family, at 37 years old, I should know better!
So I have to own that. I hate being angry at myself; I would so much rather be angry at someone else.
Then it bugs me to see that granddad has been allowed to collect all this crap. And trust me, a lot of it is crap he's collected. He picks things up and brings it home. At 92, granddad is surprisingly active. This puts us in a hard spot sometimes since we are loathe to curtail his freedom but we cannot control his compulsion.
After granddad moved in to his previous living arrangement, I went part-time at work for six months and spent 2-3 days per week at his house to help my aunt clean it out. I wish I was blogging back then so I could show it to you now. Anyhow, here we are doing it all over again on a smaller scale. That bugs me a little bit.
So, I'm frustrated and my dad senses it and sends me home with a basket of apricots from his tree. In all that, there are some important facts that I'm not losing sight of.
On the 4th of July, I'm going back to my dad's house, to pick some more apricots, and make a pie for my dad, my granddad and I.