"5 Crazy Things You've ACTUALLY Done That Only Gardening Addict Would Understand (or admit to)."

"Done"? Why live in the past?

Memed by the County Clerk:

#1) Still gardening an hour after sunset? Easily.

#2) I lose all track of what's going on in a movie or on TV any time a plant appears on screen. For example, at one point in the new movie Zodiac, the comely, kissable, strong jawed and astonishingly well-endowed Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal stands in front of a pittosporum....

Mmm, that's a nice looking pittosporum. Which one? Tobira? No, too dark. Undulatum probably. Did we even have pittosporum in California the 70s? Why don't I like pittosporum more? Maybe if I had more room. The flowers on the tobira in front of the sandwich shop at work sure smelled nice last week. So many plants called mock orange. When did my Philadelphus bloom last year? I hope I don't regret putting it next to the rose. Two deciduous cane plants next to each other...that's some great garden design, Chuck. Maybe I can grow a sweet pea on the dormant sticks this winter. Funny that it didn't drop its leaves this year..."

#3) I also lose track of myself sitting at my compost bin too, cutting up bits of organic matter into tinier bits. The better to accelerate microbial decomposition, you know.

#4) I have extensive conversations with the plants in my garden. Verbal conversations. Out loud. This includes, but is not not limited to, inquiring whether the plants are thirsty or sufficiently warm, how they feel about their neighbors, whether they would like some mulch, and me expressing sincerest regret for inadvertent slights or injuries.

#5) I have no problem getting up in the morning Monday through Friday. Because I can't wait to see what's new in the garden since an hour after sunset the night before.

You said "crazy", right?

Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.